Thursday, May 08, 2008

Tribute To Someone Special. A Friend Now & Always.

14 years ago, on the 3rd day of January, I met someone that would stay close to my heart for the rest of my life. I didn't think it was anyone particularly special at the time but of course I didn't really know her. All I knew was that this really tall, chinese looking girl with the indian name was so nice that I hoped we would end up in the same class.

Cheryl K and I eventually became desk partners and more importantly, friends. Close friends for more than 14 years now and I had always wondered how we would all look like, her and the rest of our close knit gang of friends, when we were 35 and hopefully married with kids. And everytime I wondered that, I always told Cheryl that I could picture her as this super sophisticated, successful career woman doing something really smart. I didn't know exactly what she would be doing but I was 1000% certain it's something smart like rocket science or something.

To this she would do two things, tell me that technically 1000% doesn't exist cos the maximum is only 100% then laugh and shake her head at my ditziness. That is a typical Cheryl reaction, correction and then acceptance.

She had always been the person I turned to when I needed advice or just someone to hang out with. To this day, I still remember her house telephone number even though I no longer use it since the dawn of the mobile phone era.

Cheryl has always been my rock, my one consistent companion, my voice of reason and sometimes the comforting shoulder for me to cry on. I could always convince her to try out new things with me and so we had embarked on some strange adventures some of which failed, like fencing in uni. So many experiences we shared, so many stories to tell, all of which revealed just how good a friend she really had been to me and many others. We may have had periods of time when we lost touch but it was never for long and when we did get together again it was like no time had ever passed in between.

3 days ago, Cheryl K. passed away due to complications from an illness she had been battling for the past year or so.

The news is still slowly sinking in and it may take a while before the reality that I will never see or speak to one of my best friends in the world hits me. My very last memory of her was at my wedding, 6 months ago, where she took the responsibility of driving my in laws back and forth from their hotel. It is a wonderful last memory of her, smiling and happy, actually wearing a floral scarf instead of her usual bandanna just because it's a wedding.

Sick as she was, she never really let on how it felt physically or emotionally to me. I thought it was probably something she wants to keep private and I gave her the space I thought she needed. Maybe I gave her too much or I was simply too selfish and in deep denial that she was very ill. But the guilt one feels at not calling a friend enough, not giving her enough of you can be overwhelming. I didn't want to take away her energy by making her talk to me on the phone but now I wish I had spoken to her just once, even if it was for a little while.

I wish..I wish...I wish my friend was not gone. My friend who loved Thai Express as much as me and even shared the card membership with me. My friend who kept my feet firmly on the ground and whose wry sense of humour, sensibility and intelligence keeps me in awe of her. My friend who spent many many hours just hanging out doing nothing at my brother's flat and who helped me entertain my niece, Fifi.

My thoughts had always been with you, my friend, and it always will. I thank you for being my friend, for having been there for me all these years and for just being the way you are. I'm sorry I never got to say that thank you to you but I hope you understood anyway.

Farewell, my dear, and be at peace. You have no idea how much I will miss you.

2 comments:

noz said...

This is really shocking to me. I thought she was getting better. She definitely did not look ill at your wedding. I don't know her except that she is your friend and she used to hang around at my flat but in an indescribable way.. I feel her loss too.

Unknown said...

my sincerest condolences to her family and you dian.

hope your fondest memories of her will sustain you for the rest of your life...