The Toilet Incident

For the past few weeks I've had numerous close encounters of the puking kind with toilets, be it at home or in public. It's uncomfortable, gross and highly unpleasant especially for me.

But the husband being the wonderfully endearing man that he is, tries to be there for me. Of course he can't follow me into public toilets to help me but he's right by my side the moment I feel bad at home. You know how many say you always know who your true friends are when they hold your hair back as you puke your guts out after a wild night? Fine, my nights may not be wild anymore (not sure when it ever was) but puking my guts out is definitely in the cards nowadays and dear husband does hold my hair back and rubs my back (thinking it does any good. I just don't have the heart to tell him it doesn't) as I hold my face firmly in position above the toilet bowl for any incoming attacks.

And so one night, about a week ago when my nausea was at its peak, we had just returned from window shopping at Ikea (fine, we started out with the INTENTION to window shop but came home with a carpet) and I had spent a large part of the day in toilets doing the nasty. I was NOT feeling well at all and could feel another attack coming as we parked and walked up to the apartment.

So we rushed up and I hurried out of my jacket and scarf and hat and gloves (damn this winter season!!) and didn't make it to the boots before I plunged face first for the toilet and blew a Mt. Vesuvius into Tubby our toilet bowl (yes, we name our toilet bowl. He's done so much to fulfill our worst needs, we think he at least deserves a name). The husband, having removed all of his winter paraphernelia, was instantly by my side, pushing my hair back and rubbing my back and occasionally scolding the baby for not being nice to me (it's so cute when he does that. Absolutely useless but so cute).

Now, in our household as in most, we divide up the chores and among other things, I do the cooking and most of the washing and he's in charge of all toilets including the cat's. Unfortunately, with me feeling so sick or otherwise working, nobody has really hounded Mathias to clean the toilet and with him being so concerned about me, he forgets more often than not. So it had been a while since he cleaned poor Tubby even though the usage had increased in ferocity and frequency and I'm not just talking about me.

So there I was, leaning into the heart of Tubby, feeling really bad and I get a panoramic view of the surroundings that ONLY the toilet cleaning bottle opening should ever be subjected to. It was not a pleasant sight but that was not to be the end of my ordeal. Pregnant women develop a super keen sense of smell which becomes a great disadvantage because that in turns makes them hyper sensitive to smell and therefore easily nauseous by various smells that may or may not be detected by the normal human nose (ie. the husband's nose).

As I lay sprawled over Tubby, winter boots still on and feeling like I'm gonna die, a whiff of something nasty tickled my nose and flooded my senses. Oh no, I thought, it's not just dirty it stinks too!

So I screamed in frustration to husband, Why haven't you cleaned Tubby!? It's so dirty and it smells of ass!! I think I'm gonna be sick again.

Husband replies apologetically, I'm so sorry honey! I'll clean it tomorrow. I promise. You're right. It does smell bad.

And I scream some more (a pregnant woman in discomfort is no comfort to anyone), Why haven't you cleaned it earlier!! It smells so bad in here!

Quiet pause before husband replies very hesitantly, Well...well...actually I think it smells of ass cos I just farted.

WHAT??!, you guessed it..I screamed.., why didn't you go outside if you needed to fart??You know I feel sick. And it smells so bad!! Oh my god!

Matter of factly he says, I did go outside to fart but I guess I should have waited a little longer cos my farts do tend to stick to my pants.

Hai....and that was our little toilet incident that would have been hilarious to me if I wasn't feeling so sick.

It is now time to reveal...

Now that all the people nearest and dearest to both me and husband know about it, it is safe to tell. I'd been waiting WEEKS for my lazy husband to get off his butt and finally call his best friend to tell the man the news.

And now finally I can put it into my blog and finally be able to vent all my frustrations and miseries and happiness online instead of crying my eyes out in the middle of the night and not letting the husband get a wink of sleep.

The poor man. He says he's totally fine with it but I know the man is almost as miserable as I am at times.

Yes, we're expecting...no, not a call although it would be nice for me to get a call from someone once in a while for a chat.....we're expecting a BABY!! YAY!!

It was planned but we're very surprised that it happened so quick. Like a close friend screamed at me when I told her,' I knew it! I knew you're the fertile type! You got the look! The fertile look!' (sigh...I can so imagine Cheryl rolling her eyes at that. I miss her, by the way). I'm not exactly sure what the fertile look is but apparently she's been able to see it since we knew each other at 15. She's got superpowers too!

I hadn't planned to take the pregnancy test since I was sure my period had come but certain differences in the pains I had and a certain gut feeling just made me get up that morning while husband was making breakfast before work and sneak into the bathroom to do the deed.

Minutes later came the results that is to change our lives popped up and I was so shocked, I thought I had read the results wrong. I held the test in one hand and the instructions in the other and headed into the kitchen where husband was spreading butter. He looked at me and frowned in wonder at my shocked look.

'I think I'm pregnant.' was all I could muster.

'What?!' was all he could say as he almost dropped the butter and sandwich.

That was the day before New Year's Eve. What a wonderful gift for the New Year and great beginning to a very exciting year.

Things have been up and down the past few weeks but recently they have been more down than up and it's not a particularly jolly period for me. I wish so bad sometimes I can go home to my mummy and have her take care of me and be able to eat all that I crave because there isn't much that I can eat and that I crave except for Sg food!

I have been dreaming of prata and curry for the past 2 nights. That's how strong the cravings have been but it's miserable when I can't get hold of it and I can't cook it cos I can't stand the smell of the kitchen...hai....

Can't wait for this whole period to be over and the baby to come. January has been the slowest month for both me and the husband since we've met each other. And it's not even over yet!!

ARGH!!!

I would like to thank....

Thanks to Malin who has so kindly and very unexpectedly given me an award for my blog.

'THE CUTEST BLOG AWARD'

I am soo honoured and absolutely shocked by this award (tears streaming down my cheeks and looking at the 'gleaming' statue I've conjured into my hands) that it's difficult to put into words the emotions running through me right now.

I'd like to thank first and foremost my parents without whom I wouldn't have existed and been as voluptous as I have become (I tribute to my mum's ample bosom and my dad's formerly big boned frame. Hey old people shrink, I've accepted that, you should too). And to my husband without whom I wouldn't have been forced to move to a tiny town in a cold country in a part of the world where pronouncing my own husband's name was a challenge... (soft, soothing music starts playing indicating it's time to wrap it up..). All the inspiration I've gotten....(music crescendoes further by the second)...and..all the people who have in..spired (music is now on full volume, the mic is off and the gorgeous escorts are escorting me firmly by the arms off stage)...

(Mouthing to the wonderfully attentive audience as I'm hustled off stage like a loony through the gates of the asylum) Thank you! Thank You! I love you all!!

Made For The Sun

I'm a tropical island girl...always been, always will be. I love the sun (but not it's tanning powers), I like the heat (esp when I'm entering a cool shopping centre AWAY from the searing heat) and I love the fact one doesn't need to dress so heavily every single time one steps out of the front door. When it takes me almost 10 minutes to put on clothes on top of he clothes that keep me from walking around naked just so I can step out in the cold, that's too many clothes. But damn if they weren't essential! Layers and layers of wooly things that stick to my lips and itches but which I have to endure just cos it keeps me warm and most importantly ALIVE.

I'm NOT loving the cold.

My first winter last year was extremely mild and the temperatures hardly passed -10 and that was only at night when I would be nice and cosy in my warmish apartment.

But this year...ugh! The temperatures have dunked to -15 while the sun is out! I get fooled all the time, thinking that it's not so cold outside cos the sun is shining so brightly into my apartment, warming me and Sussie. The sun feels so good that Sussie even abandons her morning naps to play and go crazy chasing her tail and her imaginary friends in the sun and warmth. But then I look at the outdoor thermometer and it reveals the truth about the devious weather....-17 degrees celsius!! Shite...I don't dare to go out much cos it's just so cold and my face feels frozen 5 minutes from leaving the building. I need to cover half of my face with my wooly scarf just so that my face and especially nose would not hurt but then the wool bits get stuck on my lips and in my nose so it's really uncomfortable.

Then stop wearing the wool, you say? I wish I could but it's so cold that I need something that thick to keep me semi decently warm.

But it's not all bad. With the temperatures dipping so low, it's given an opportunity for the lake to freeze over enough to allow skating on the lake which is so cool to watch! I was so sad that neither Mathias or I had skates so we could not go ice skating on the lake but we did walk over the frozen lake. The fact that snow covered almost all the icy surface made it much easier to walk over the ice with our winter boots and it also took away some of the freak out factor I would otherwise have from looking straight down into the frozen lake and possibly seeing fish and other water creatures that may exist beneath the water surface.

The snow gives so much more to the landscape in terms of beauty, silence and a sense of calm and serenity. Walking by the lake when the sun is just setting gives one a sense of awe at just how beautiful nature can be, untouched by man.

Regardless of where one lives, there will always be pros and cons. The good and bad of living in a new environment, adjusting to changes big and small and simply making the best of life wherever that may be.

I'm not unhappy and miserable living in Sweden although I can certainly have miserable moments. I'm actually happy with my life, setting up house and home with a loving husband and building up our family and settling down to family life. I think I have licence to complain sometimes living in cold Scandinavia cos I'm a girl made for the sun and the winter season just dampens that sunny spirit of mine.

Swedish Super Powers

I've been meaning to blog about the incredible powers of Swedes who live in small towns but something else always comes to mind when I start blogging. I realised this amazing ability that they have early on in my move here but as the months passed, I experienced more and more of this and was awed by the efficiency and accuracy of their abilities.

I've learnt that the older one is, the stronger the ability and only those who live in small towns or villages and have lived there for years and years have it. Big city people are too caught up in their own big city lives to be able to develop this power. The smaller the place, the older the people and the longer their stay means greater accuracy, efficiency and strength in this power. And I will tell you why.

When I first moved to Askersund, I always looked at the husband funny cos he would occasionally, as we are walking or driving thru town, raise up his hand and nod. I would have no idea who he is nodding to, if there really was someone there and it was certainly not to me. So I would ask him, what was that for?

And he would calmly turn to me and say, Old neighbour from upstairs. Or something like that. And I would stand there looking around and see nobody. Where?, I ask.

And he says, Oh the one in that blue car that just passed.

The blue car that just passed?? I looked to the road and saw cars of all colours passing us by, the sky is dark and everyone is wearing a thick jacket and hats in their cars. How the heck did he recognise one man in a blue car among all the men in blue cars driving past? I couldn't see inside the cars even if I squinted and stared and yet within a split second, my husband managed to pick out the right blue car, narrow in and identify the man, catch his attention and wave in greeting.

What?! Seriously....what?

So many questions pop into my head. Firstly, how does my dear husband know what kind of car the man drives? (That's the car he's been driving for a few years now. I think his wife has her own car, says husband.).

Their amazing ability to see and recognise someone in a passing car. even if the car is driving past at 50km/hr among other cars still astounds me. The older one is and the longer one has lived there means that they have had the opportunity to learn the make, model and colour of the cars of all their acquaintances and friends in town. And that is half the battle won.

But it is the other half that still amazes me. It can be 8pm, streets lit by lamp posts and the car interior as dark as it can ever be and yet people walking by can still see the driver, recognise him and wave in greeting. How the heck does one do that?? Unless one has supersonic eyesight or something cos I definitely cannot see anything past the car windows. I can't even tell if the driver is male or female! And it is especially freaky when it is the driver of the car that initiates greeting cos it is always easier to make out the person walking surrounded by light than someone sitting in the darkness of a car, driving.

I thought that perhaps people just wave and nod to almost every car and vice versa so I do a little test sometimes. It's not particularly scientific but nothing I do is ever particularly scientific. Everytime the husband waved to a passing car, I never fail to ask who that was. And he would be able to tell me, matter of factly, without effort or strain. And sometimes the accuracy of his power is proven when we meet the person he had been waving to and they start talking about having waved to each other earlier (not the most stimulating of conversation, I know, so I usually pretend I don't understand what's being said).

This phenomenon does not occur in big cities like Stockholm or Gothenburg, possibly does in the suburbs but I don't know. It doesn't even happen in smaller big cities like Örebro cos not everyone knows everyone else and their personal details. Everything becomes less private in small towns and a lot more familiar. And now that husband works in Askersund itself, the waving and nodding have upped in frequency and accuracy.

I doubt I'll develop that power but I still stand in awe of it. Something so simply yet so impossible for me to do myself.

The arrival of 'Civilisation'...thru my eyes

I've accepted and resigned to the fact that I live in the countryside (can't say that out loud tho..hee hee!). I'm even beginning to see the silver lining of living in a small town of population 12,000 (and growing...slooowly....) where nightlife is when you forget you need milk at 9.55pm and rush like a rabid dog to the ONLY store still open, tiny supermarket (one of 2 in this town. A fact we are ALL proud of) which closes at 10pm and you meet some other desperate people running in for last minute groceries, usually light beer, chips and magazines (items of choice especially on the weekends).

Don't get me wrong, I really like Askersund. It's a nice, calm town with a beautiful lake across one side of the town and where most people nod and smile when they pass each other (but that's usually cos everyone knows everyone...especially the old people, the majority demographic of this town). We have at least 1 of almost everything. I town square, 1 bookstore, 1 pharmacy, 1 toystore, 1 knit store, 1 spa, 1 hotel, 1 electronic store, 1 sports store, 2 flowershops, 2 bakeries (Swedes love their flowers and bread), 4 cafes (2 of which belong to a B&B), and for some strange reason, more than 5 hairsalons. I'm not sure how this is possible but they all manage to stay open for business and yet I never see anyone in the salons. Oh and Swedes love their pizzas and kebabs so we have 4 pizza places, 3 of which are a block from each other and an Asian Restaurant that is open only during the warm half of the year.

Everything but 1 cafe, 2 restaurants and the supermarkets close at 6pm on weekdays and beyond 10pm, you'd be lucky to buy a coke anywhere. When I first moved here, like any tourist, I looked out for certain stores or things that are international and familiar. So of cos, I looked for things like Burger King, KFC, Body Shop and 7-11. Of the 4, I found 2 that are within 45min drive (and that is considered close by), KFC does not exist in Sweden (sent shock waves thru me) and husband told me that 7-11 can only be found in Stockholm and Gothenburg, mainly the really large cities.

Darn it. After living in Thailand where 7-11s are found on every street and appreciating the selection of 7-11 foods when I worked the late shifts in Singapore, I became a 7-11 lover. And to hear that there is no 7-11 within a 3 hour drive radius made it feel like I truly lived out in the wild. I may be exaggerating but take the 7-11 away from a girl like me and you can only get drama.

But perhaps someone up there heard my silent cries of frustration cos 2 weeks ago, civilisation, as I see it, arrived in Askersund. We found out that the gas station by the harbour has now opened a 7-11!!! I almost did not dare to believe it. Here in tiny Askersund!! We have a 7-11!! Yippee!!! Granted that it is only open till midnight but in Sweden, that's considered all night anyway.

I am sooo glad!! We were so excited, both husband and I, that we actually went down to the gas station just to have a look around the place. I was in awe and checked out every shelf, every magazine (good selection of porn mags, according to husband), every coffee machine and every hot food item they had. We could tell just how recently it had opened since most of the items and shelves were without price tags and half of the shelves were empty with cartons lying around. I hope they have a slurpee machine soon but I'm not holding my breath. I'm just glad there's a 7-11!!

And now dear husband knows exactly where to head to if I ever get a midnight craving. hahaha!!