Why don't they have it here??

Anyone who moves to a new country expects to see cultural, environmental and social differences. But having lived in 3 different countries, in 3 different chapters of my life I've come to a conclusion. One does not quite fathom and realise just how big these differences can be until one is faced with FTP, first time parenthood.

When I was still young (actually YOUNGER. One should never frivolously take away from one's youth) and single, I worked and lived in Thailand, Phuket to be exact, for a period of time. That was where I met my husband but for the most part, since it was a long distance relationship, I still felt like I had the freedom of singlehood. Granted that Thailand is not that far removed from what I was used to in Singapore, it was still a new environment with very specific social and cultural differences. It took me a while to assimilate and feel comfortable although having a close friend as a flatmate for half of my time there helped. But all in all I felt like it was quite easy to get used to life in Phuket, even though I didn't have a lot of the amenities I was used to like a good, cheap transport system.

I suspect now that my ease at getting used to the lifestyle, people and language could have been due to my youthful enthusiasm and single girl mentality. I didn't have a care in the world and the only person I needed to take care of and could fully depend on was me.

I've been in Sweden for almost as long as I was in Phuket and yet I find myself unable (or perhaps to some extent unwilling??) to get used to life here. Unable to understand and perhaps fully accept the cultural, social and environmental sphere surrounding me right now. In other words, I'm having a hard time fitting in or feeling like I belong somewhere in this big puzzle called Sweden. Unlike that innocent, eager single girl of 4 years ago ready to take on whatever Thailand had to offer, I'm now a married, stay at home wife, expecting her first child.

How time flies.

I've always been aware of just how different Sweden is from Singapore but never more so than now. Being pregnant for the first time, all that I know about childcare is what I have learnt from my mother and sister in law and whatever I've been exposed to in Singapore. There are so many things that I had been so used to and had taken for granted in Singapore that simply do not exist or are a rarity here and I am CONFUSED!

I don't really have any Swedish friends here that I feel comfortable enough to openly ask about the silliest things like what would they do if the baby has wind in the tummy. If I was to ask that I would probably get a blank stare and they would ask me, what do you mean by wind? But ask any Singaporean and they would immediately say, Ai..wind ah! Alamak, better go put some Axe oil on your stomach. I did try to ask Mathias' grandma about that and I did get a blank stare before she laughed embarassed and said you just pick up the baby, pat it and carry it around til it feels better.

That put a blank stare on MY face. Why would one need to do that if one can just use the baby bird oil and gripe water? Ok fine, maybe not all are familiar with the bird oil until you see the red metal tube the bottle comes in with the picture of the peacock on it at the chinese medicine shop. Fine, I can understand since it's an asian product. Then we move on to the idea of milk powder. I'd been walking up and down the baby aisle at the supermarket and have yet to find baby milk powder. As is, adult milk powder does not exist in Sweden but to not be able to even find baby milk powder worries me. Perhaps I just don't know the Swedish name for it but you see what I mean by asking the silliest questions? Eerr..excuse me, but which pack is milk powder?

I know, I know, there's no harm in asking but sometimes I just want to have the stuff that I had when I was young for my own baby. I can't even get Johnson's & Johnson's baby products here cos Sweden does not seem to carry that brand. Sure there are other brands that are just as good but none of them have the same wonderful fragrance that can only come from the J&J baby milk bath or the J&J baby no more tears shampoo.

Am I just being difficult and petty? I do wonder that sometimes about myself. Am I just making life more difficult for me cos I'm so homesick? So many wonderful conveniences that I love and miss that are simply not available to me anymore.

But then, every now and again I come across something or rather the lack of something that gets me all riled up again (remember, it's the raging hormones raging) and I get even more homesick and wonder, WHY DON*T THEY HAVE IT HERE??!

What was it today?

Today, I got all riled up again after some much appreciated peace (yea, a happy life is a happy wife) when I made a list of things we need to get for the baby. The big things, not the small supermarket stuff like wet wipes and diapers but like the cot, baby bathtub, pram etc. Husband look through the list and then dared to ask me (cos I'm still so vulnerable and unpredictable), what's a hot water boiler?

To me a hot water boiler is not just the electric kettle we have that boils water when we switch it on. A proper hot water boiler is a machine that not just boils the water but keeps it warm at all times. Most Singapore homes have one and a mother with a demanding newborn would be lost without it.

Or so I thought.

I got the oh so familiar blank stare before he dropped the bomb on me.

We don't have that here.

What do you mean? In Sweden? There is no hot water boiler in Sweden??!

I don't think they have it in Europe. The first time I saw it was in Asia.

WHAT??!! But I don't want to wait for water to boil in the middle of the night or make milk in advance. Milk should be fresh! What kind of place does not have hot water boilers??

(very nervous) I'll go check with our suppliers at work to see if they have anything.

You'd better! You work in a damn appliance store! how can you not have my water boiler? I can't have a baby without a water boiler! Get me a boiler! If you don't get me a boiler by the middle of my 3rd trimester, I'm not having the baby! I'm very determined, you know.

I know you are.

Yes I am! I'm gonna hold it in until I turn blue! I promise you!

A little taste of the daily melodrama that plays out between husband and hormonally charged wife who was already a drama queen to start with. My pooooor husband. A good thing I married an incredibly patient man. And yes, the man has 4 months to get me my water boiler or there will be hell to pay.