Rainbow muffins!

It's midsummer's day tomorrow and we have been invited to sis in law, Jessica's place for a little midsummer party cum nephew's 3rd birthday.

And as it is a potluck party, I have been given the task of bringing something good and sweet (what else right? Not like I can bring nasi lemak with sambal. hehehheh). Me being me, I'm of cos not going to bring just one thing, I need variety! So I'll bring my chocolate mini melts as well plus for a little asian touch and as per request of sis in law, I'm bringing a malay snack called layang-layang which translated means kite. It's not the authentic layang-layang that requires making the dough, rolling it out and shaping it. No, I'm going the super shortcut way of using popiah skin, rolling it into love letters, cutting those up and deep frying them after which I dust powdered sugar on. Sounds strange but it's oh so good!

So apart from those, I've also decided to bake some mini muffins and after getting some inspiration from another baking blog, I give you my rainbow mini muffins!

They are quite small, about half the size of normal muffins for the cute factor and so that it would be finger food size.

I love that it is so colourful which gives a very summery feel and also appropriate for a small kid's party. Even the inside is colourful which baffles the husband (da man dunno anything abt baking lah) cos he thought I had painted the muffin surface. I think it gives a nice lively surprise when u bite into it.

How to resist a muffin pile like that right? Mmmm....

This was the first time I tried making the muffins this way so next time I will try to make the green darker and am thinking of adding in a blue layer since I just got blue food colouring last night. These muffins are just plain vanilla muffins cos the main focus of this muffin should be the happy colours but I think next time I will add more vanilla extract for a fiercer flavour.

Will take pictures of the potluck food table tomorrow to show. Hope it's good and not just strange swedish food. Well, at least I will have my muffins to fall back on. heh heh...

Mummy update

This is the most recent picture of me and my growing tummy at 29 weeks plus 2 days (how time flies). Extremely recent since I just took this picture 5 minutes ago. Like I said, I cannot depend on husband dearest to take any pictures of me. He is probably da LOUSIEST man to depend on when it comes to taking pictures. Even when it is to document the journey of his BEAUTIFUL (or so he claims) wife through this gestation period of our firstborn. Haiyoh...so irritating when I have to remind him all the time to take picture. This means that all my pictures are posed so no candid shots which are so much more fun. But then again, the man is not Singaporean. I should be more understanding. I'll try ok? I'll trrrryyyy....

Oh gosh, I'm getting to be humongous! No wonder tossing in bed is difficult!

I've also decided to start documenting the development of my swollen feet. I think I have been lucky since my feet have only just begun to swell. I've seen some women who sadly for them begin swelling WAAAY too early. My heart goes out to those ladies. Ugh! I hate the swelling and the fluid retention.

Not so bad right? But I can tell that my toes look a little bloated. And this is just the beginning!!

Apart from the fact that it does not look attractive in any way at all, it can also be very very uncomfortable and sometimes hurt. My fingers I suspect are very slowly but sneakily swelling because they hurt like hell especially in the mornings. I can hardly grip anything so i have a tendency of dropping the toothpaste tube and the bar of soap numerous times in the morning (luckily I'm not in prison) which is HIGHLY annoying seeing how bending over is getting to be more and more of a challenge these days. Even tossing and turning in bed is getting to be a challenge. Ugh! Everything is more of a challenge now. This baby better appreciate mummy and all she had to go through for 9 months. Haa.....

Fearsome FIL

Parenthood is something that scares everyone, especially first time mothers and fathers. The idea that I am fully responsible for the physical, psychological and mental development of this child I carry for the next 20 years freaks me out sometimes. And I know it's a natural reaction and sentiment and it will probably remain in the back of my mind for the next 2 decades at least.

So many things that da husband and I need to consider when it comes to our ideas of how we want to raise our baby. The fact that we come from 2 very different cultural backgrounds and that we practice a minority religion in this country that even his family is not a part of creates a whole new spectrum of complicated. We've had many of such discussions with each other of cos and we do agree on most things. One of the issues I face right now is not that the husband and I are of different minds when it comes to parenting. It has more to do with my fearsome FIL.

My FIL is a man whose character and personality is such that it has a tendency of overpowering a room. He is a man of good intentions and has many great points but he is also of strong opinion and is not afraid to let you know what they are. I've always known that about him and I also know that he is a man I do not want to cross on a bad foot. He has a rather bad habit unfortunately of thinking that his opinions, although usually very sensible and down to earth, are the right ones and may not be able to accept that others may have a different view of things. I've accepted all these sides of my FIL and for the most part, it has been a fairly harmonious relationship. There have been a few incidents where FIL expressed his lack of understanding and to some degree, acceptance of our way of life and this is especially when he has had a drink too many. And knowing that I am the very reason why the husband lives the way he does now makes these discussions or rather chastisements (it feels to me anyway) very uncomfortable and rather sensitive for me. However, these incidents are few and far between and I learn to get past them so that we can all continue to live a harmonious life. It's all about give and take, right?

But of late, it seems that FIL has gotten even more set in his opinions and a little more vocal about them, regardless of whether he is completely sober or not. And the scariest thing about this is that these opinions seems to centre more and more around our baby. Now, I dare not make any jokes that have anything to do with the baby or my pregnancy when he is within hearing distance bcos he seems to take everything so seriously now. It's as if he can joke about it but nobody else, not even me or da husband who happen to be the parents of the child, is allowed to. And this can be very troubling for me, the hormonally overcharged, hyper sensitive pregnant woman who can cry over anything.

Jokes or lack thereof aside, I get the sense that FIL is getting more and more protective of his grandchild the closer it gets to the delivery date. I may be very wrong but this is just a gut feeling. Take for instance last Saturday when they came over to our apartment for a small dinner party. As we showed my in laws the things we received from my family, the FIL became more and more vocal about his ideas on how we should treat the baby. You cannot this and you cannot that, he would say. Even though his own mother (who was also there) had done the same things and he was actually chastising his mum for doing such old school things that should not be allowed in the first place. Nobody in modern society does that anymore cos it's so barbaric, he said. And the worst thing about it is that I actually plan on doing those very things he has forbidden us to do (yes, he actually used the word 'forbidden') although of cos I did not say.

And what was this barbaric thing that is so awful to inflict on babies? Wrapping them up tight into a bundle with a blanket. I might be completely wrong in the way I'm thinking but isn't the reason why people do that is to keep the baby warm and ensure the baby feels secure without anyone having to hold it? But to FIL, this is equivalent to putting on a straightjacket on a child which is absolutely unacceptable. Oh gosh, I wonder if there will a clash of the Titans if FIL ever sees how my mother will teach me to take care of the baby.

Now, these are very small matters that I hope will blow over and become no big deal once the baby is born. But one never knows and I worry. But my biggest worry and that is da husband's big concern as well is the discussion and possibly argument that will ensue if we have a boy and the time comes for us to circumcise the baby. The circumcision of our son (be it for this child or any future children we may have) is not a point of debate or consideration. We are not at a stage where we are considering whether to go ahead with it or not. We know, in accordance with our religion, it will be done and we just hope for the respect and acceptance of da husband's family. But both da husband and I are afraid that we will not get either the respect or the acceptance of FIL when it comes to this matter. It was a big discussion when da husband decided to go through with it but seeing the trend that FIL is going in terms of his protectiveness of this baby, I wonder to what extent the discussion and argument will go.

I want da husband to tell his parents and have an open discussion with them before the baby is born in case it is a boy. But we are both afraid of that discussion and have been trying to delay it as far as we can. And we both agree that this will be a discussion where I will NOT be present just in case so as to spare me any unpleasantries.

I'm not sure if my in laws, esp FIL, have considered at all the fact that their daughter in law was not brought up in this environment and culture and therefore the values and practices that I may teach my child may be vastly different from they consider to be the norm. And I hope and pray that they will keep a conscious effort to at least respect our lifestyle and practices and maintain that when our child is with them. But these are things da husband knows he will eventually have to bring up to them.

I'm just afraid of when that day comes. Who knows, I might want to move farther away from them after that. I am so nervous and feel like I'm treading on thin ice as it is when I'm around FIL, what more after a deep discussion like that?

Dinner party baking

Had a little dinner party last night with MIL, FIL and husband's grandparents in conjunction with the annual Jazz festival in Askersund. Not that I remembered the jazz festival due to my poor memory nowadays and the pissy weather we have been having. Anyway, I suggested to husband that we invite some people (ie. his family. Who else do I know in this GH town right?) over simply bcos I had the biggest urge to bake a whole cake and it would be crazy to bake one just for the 2 of us. I wanted to do the works for the cake...frosting, vanilla cream, fruits and berries..so I did! I love summertime cos that is when all the fresh fruits and berries come out. Woo hoo!

Apart from the main cake, I also wanted to try making what I call chocolate mini melts, which are basically very small bite sized pieces of sponge cake (they call it sockerkaka here or sugar cake) dipped in chocolate ganache and topped with a piece of fruit or berry. Warning: High calorie alert! These sweet wonders are not for the weak hearted.

Chocolate Mini Melts

I used a simple sponge cake recipe and just cut out the shapes I wanted using a small cookie cutter.

Then dipped them in the ganache and let it set for a minute or two before pouring a little more ganache over the top to get a shinier glaze on top.

Then chilled it in the fridge so that the ganache can set.

Chocolate Ganache:-
1 cup double cream (told you it was rich)
1 cup dark chocolate (can use any type of baking chocolate but this is not as sweet which I prefer)
2-3 tbsp butter (can use more. It makes the ganache shiny. Who doesn't like shiny, right?)
a few tbsp sugar (depending on how sweet you want the ganache to be)

Use a blender or food processor and blend chocolate and butter together.

Heat cream and sugar in a small saucepan until simmering but not boiling.
With the blender at low speed, pour the hot cream mixture over the chocolate mixture and blend until the chocolate has melted (this would be really quick).
Do not over blend or over handle the chocolate as it would lose its shine.
If mixture is too thin for your purpose, chill it in the fridge until it is at the right consistency.

And on to my main event, the frosted cake!! Used the same sugar cake recipe for the cake base and my fluffy white frosting to seal the deal.

Stage 1: I sliced the cake in half so i could sneak in a layer of home made vanilla cream and berries in the middle. It just makes the cake all that juicier and tastier.

Doesn't it look good enough to eat already? Hai...cannot wait.

Stage 2: Placed the cake top on and with haphazard precision, smothered my white frosting on the top. At this point, I could not decide whether to just frost the top as is or frost the whole thing. It's already so pretty and ready to eat as is!! DILEMMA!

Stage 3: After much discussion and heated debate, decided to finish off the work I started and Voila! A beautiful fruit cake that is sinfully delish!

Baking Inspiration

I haven't been feeling all too fantastic these past few days and I think the pains in my leg and hips are coming back (HORRORS!!) but the good thing is that much of the pain comes at night so I'm left alone during the daytime. Which is a great thing cos then I get into the mood to indulge in my favourite past time...baking.

The weather has been pissy rain all week and it just feels nice and homely to have a warm kitchen filled with the smell of freshly baked bread, cakes, muffins or cookies. And a few days ago while grocery shopping, I stumbled upon a box of frosting tubes that was just the thing I had been looking for. This would allow me to actually decorate and write letters on my cakes! YAY!

And so started my baking inspiration. To top it all off, I finally found a frosting recipe for cakes that did ask for a kilo of frosting sugar cos those kinds of frostings are so sweet they make me sick. And I also found a new way to decorate my cookies that did not add sweetness to the already sweet sugar cookies.

So exciting!! After making sure I had all I needed and gaining further inspiration from a fellow cooking enthusiast's beautifully done blog, I was ready to BAKE!! And for once, I shall NOT be lazy and actually post the recipe as well. I told you, I was INSPIRED!

I decided to make 2 creations yesterday since one recipe required 2 egg yolks and the other asked for 2 egg whites, so why not right?? Must be smart about this (plus I got all this time on my hands). But to be truly honest, this egg issue only came about cos I had the itchy fingers to frost yesterday. So instead of wasting 2 egg whites just because I wanted frosted cookies, I decided to start off with chocolate muffins TOPPED with white frosting (that solved the egg white issue) and fresh strawberries. I tweaked the original muffin recipe a little and left out all the extra chocolate pieces that were supposed to go in for 2 reasons, 1: I realised I had run out of baking chocolate (husband dear is a heavy user and occasionally dips into my stash) and 2: since I was gonna have frosting on top, one comes to a point where too much sweetness has to be stopped. But I've put down the original recipe below just in case you do want to go into chocolate shock. Hey, I've done it.

Chocolatey Chocolate Muffins (makes abt 8)

1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/4 cup rice flour
1/4 plain flour
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 eggs, lightly beaten
60g butter, melted
60g good quality white chocolate, finely chopped
12 chocolate balls (I usually use Lindt balls)
icing sugar, to serve

Preheat oven 180 degrees C and line muffin tray with paper cases.
Sift together cocoa powder, rice and plain flour and combine it with brown sugar in a medium sized bowl.
Make a well in the centre and add eggs and melted butter, gently stir until well combined.
Stir in chopped white chocolate (you can add in nuts too if you want).
Fill each muffin case 1/3 of the way, place a chocolate ball in the centre of the case then spoon more of the mixture tocompletely cover the ball.
(The muffin will rise a little so make sure not to over fill the case)
Bake for 20-25 minutes or until the tops of the muffins are firm to touch.
Cool for 15 minutes in the pan.
Dust with icing sugar and serve warm or at room temperature.

As for the actual white icing, I used the Fluffy White Frosting recipe below:-
1 cup white sugar
1/3 cup water
1/4 tsp cream of tartar
2 egg whites
1 tsp vanilla extract

In a small saucepan, stir together sugar, water and cream of tartar.
Cook over medium high heat until sugar is dissolved amd mixture is bubbly.
Whip the egg whites and vanilla to soft peaks.
Gradually add sugar mixture while whipping constantly (this is where I ADORE my KitchenAid) until stiff peaks form, about 7-10 minutes.

Granted, my hands are not the most steady and my frosting technique is greatly lacking (for right now), I still think my muffins look pretty damn tasty. But this was just the side order, the small fry, the easy peasy recipe leading up to my main star, the Frosted Sugar Cookies.

Making the sugar cookie is straightforward enough with the basic sugar cookie recipe:-
2/3 cup shortening (I used butter)
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp grated lemon or orange zest
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
4 tsp milk
2 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Cream the shortening, sugar, zest and vanilla thoroughly.

Add in egg and beat until light and fluffy.
Add in milk and mix.
Sift the dry ingredients together and blend into the creamed mixture


Divide the dough in half, wrap each half in baking paper and slightly flatten.
Refrigerate for 1 hour or if you're in a hurry, place in the freezer for 20 minutes.

Roll out the dough but not too thin, about 1/4 inch thick (otherwise cookie gets too crispy) on a lightly floured surface and cut into shapes.
Transfer to a greased cookie sheet and paint on the cookie glaze with a soft bristle brush.
Bake at 180 degrees C for approximately 6 minutes. DO NOT allow to brown.
Allow to cool on cookie sheet for a few minutes before transfering to a wire rack (cookie is VERY soft in the beginning)

Egg Yolk Glaze (recipe is for 1 colour)
1 egg yolk
1 tsp water
2-3 drops food colouring (depending on how dark you want it to be)

Mix everything together and go nuts!

Here is the husband, enthusiastically working his creative side.

One requires a gentle touch and stroke to ensure one does not damage the pre baked cookies.

His idea of funky cookies. Can you find his Zorro emblem? That is his favourite apparently.

These are MY cookies fresh out of the oven. They're not very pretty yet but hey, even supermodels need some time after a shower.

Finally, my pride and joy!
The finished products that husband and I decorated. Can you tell who did which cookie? Hint: He only got to decorate 2 cookies.

A close up of the day's winners:

A dedication to our unborn baby, be it boy or girl.

One of the cookies husband got to decorate. Guess which one?

Cookies for the MIL and FIL who are to be farmor (father's mother) and farfar (father's father). It's in Swedish, in case you haven't caught on.

And finally cookies decorated for husband's beloved grandparents, Sven-Olof and Inger.

Care Package Drama Part 1!

My family is Singapore is excited and enthusiastic about this baby. And even though my mother with her inability to express real emotions openly tries to keep a cool and almost nonchalant demeanour about da pregnancy and baby, I know she's da most excited.

Why?

Bcos many moons ago, my mother decided to send a baby package so that her grandchild will have everything it needs when it comes. She asked me what i didn't have here in Sweden for da baby and seeing how I haven't had much babystuff contact since having moved here, I just mentioned stuff I would want for da baby but haven't seen. So apparently the list was extensive enough for my first brother, da grouch (that is really his nickname amongst us siblings), to call me one fine day (which NEVER happens unless it's of GRAVE importance) and ask me, You live in Africa is it?? How come they don't have so many things?

As it turns out, my mother engaged da help of my beloved sister in law (da grouch's wife who is FAR from a grouchess which to me makes them da ultra odd couple..anyway..) to get da stuff tat I mentioned and some other things that my mother thinks I would need. So with their combined powers, they went on a mini shopping spree, my mother in Sg and my sis in law in KL. And to my brother's amazement, they packed together about 4 boxes worth of things for me.

4! He said. 4 boxes to send to Sweden! That was of cos said to my mother after which he suggested sending me money instead cos it wil be lighter and hassle free. Of cos I was surprised they had gotten so much stuff and I told my mother she didn't have to send me so many things cos it would be very costly to ship them over.

But my mother, from whom I inherited my stubborn nature, said no she wants to send da stuff regardless of cost cos HER grandchild will get whatever it needs because she will not be there. Aaawww...so sweet right? This coming from my stoic-ish mother is very touching but I cannot show emo also...that would be disastrous. My relationship with my mother rests on a thin thread based on a fine balancing act. One never goes too extreme in emotions or da whole thing will just be a mess and neither one will know what to do. So for the sake of convenience. we always go da middle way.

My mum told me she will compromise and not send AS MUCH as she had intended and managed to repack into 2 boxes instead with da help of my sis in law. So for da past 6 or 8 weeks, I have been waiting anxiously for my packages to arrive to see what wonders behold.

I received my care packages yesterday and not without drama. But here are the treasures I found in the bigger box alone.

I got everything from milk powder for expectant mothers to baby lotions to baby clothes, towels, mittens and booties!

I LOVE Johnsons & Johnsons products. They smell oh so lovely. The way babies should smell. Turns out Sweden does have J&J products but they are marketed under a different brand name and the smell not quite the same.

Am loving da baby bodysuits which I haven't really seen much of around here. The bodysuits are usually pants-less.

Thank you to my WONDERFUL family who with their powers combined managed to send over all these things to welcome the new baby with. I know the baby is VERY appreciative cos it has been kicking me no end from last night. :D

Pizza Monster

Yesterday was a very lazy day for husband and I. Da husband had managed to sleep about 9 hours in total in the past 48 or 56 hours cos he went to some big Rock Festival that took him and his friends 5 hours to drive to, ONE WAY. He left at 6.30am Saturday morning and came back about 7am on Sunday and had not slept a wink.

Being da faithful wife that I am, I tried to stay up as late as I could Saturday night just so that when he came back on Sunday, I would be able to sleep in late with da husband cos he is a light sleeper and I did not want to be awake and clattering about when he was trying to sleep.

I'm such a loyal wife, right? ;D Bwahaha!

So anyway, neither one of us had the energy to think about lunch and I certainly was in no shape to cook cos I could hardly move around with the pains in my body that day. The best alternative was of cos PIZZA!

In Sweden, pizza is one of the favourite fastfoods of the common people along with burgers and kebabs. And unlike in Singapore where it comes in small, medium or large, pizzas in Sweden come in only 2 sizes, normal or family size. My entire time living here, I had only eaten the normal size pizza and I have learnt that a normal size pizza is the portion that Swedes consider suitable for 1-2 persons even though it is the size of a LARGE pizza in Singapore. The fact that da pizzas here are thin crust makes up for that discrepancy, I guess.

But yesterday, husband dear wanted enough pizza so that there would be leftovers for dinner so instead of thinking, hey let's get the normal pizza and eat less so we'd have leftovers, he decided to get a family size pizza.

I did not follow the man to the pizzeria but even without opening the box, I realised what a monster of a pizza this one was. And when I opened it, this was what I found inside...

One side of the pizza box is longer than my arm!

My gorilla hand could not even cover one eighth of the pizza. MASSIVE!

To prove that Swedes love their pizzas here, husband told me the only question our pizza guy asked him as he handed over the massive pizzabox and the man's response to husband's reply.

Pizza guy: Is there going to be 4 of you today?
Husband: Nope. Just me and da wife but we wanted enough pizza to last 2 meals.
Pizza guy: (understanding and winking with da thumbs up sign) Excellent idea!

He did not even flinch or consider it strange that 2 people can consume this Frankenstein pizza over only 2 meals. I wonder how big a family this pizza could feed in other countries.

Baby Boom

Just found out that yet another friend has given birth. I've known her since our teen years when we were classmates in secondary school. Actually, we were schoolmates for over 9 years and to think that she is now a mother as well. It seems that 2009 has been a year rich with pregnancies and births.

Just this year alone I know of 4 women myself included who has or will be giving birth to their firstborn this year alone. Our children will be of the same age albeit in different parts of the world. And one of my friends from Thailand who married a Turkish man and moved there last year is due to give birth sometime early next year. It really feels like some sort of baby boom is happening all around me. 2 of husband's close friends had their firstborns late last year while my friends seem to be catching up this year.

It didn't feel too long ago that I was in university, without a care in the world and certainly far from the subject of babies and families. That is not to say that most of my friends are popping babies right now. As a matter of fact, most of them are still swinging sistas, living out their careers and exploring the jungle. My closest, bestest girlfriends are still living the free life that I so envy sometimes but as with everything, the grass is always greener on the other side. I know they will tell me that they envy what I have too. But I do still yearn for that independence and self suficiency I once had. I long for it with a burning passion. The year before I got married and moved away from Singapore was one of the best and most free I had felt and I miss that so much. I appreciate what I have right now but I sometimes miss that life I had even more. And that makes me feel guilty for being so ungrateful for the blessings I've been given.

I've asked a few of my young mother friends and even husband's sister, Jessica if they ever had any doubts when they were pregnant and I have gotten nothing but a resounding 'YES!'. Every woman carrying her first child will have doubts, anxieties and uncertainties about labour, childbirth, parenthood and the future. A woman who says she has never had an iota of doubt during her pregnancy is plain lying. I guess I'm very slowly starting to realise that I'm not alone in my mini panic attacks and stresses about what the heck I'm doing, how did I get myself into this situation and how I will get through everything in one sane piece. But sometimes I wish I cuold just meet another mother who is willing to openly lament and complain about her pregnancy like I do now instead of being so blasé about the whole experience and making everything seem like it was not a big deal but I attribute that to pregnancy amnesia, a condition I had mentioned before suffered by new mothers all over the world.

Some days I think I'm falling to pieces and really doubt my ability and strength to even get through the day. But some days are just wonderful and whizz by and I can even appreciate the life inside me, kicking with all its worth. No matter how supportive dear husband is now, I don't think he can really understand the emotional rollercoaster I've gone through in this pregnancy. The closest he ever came to understanding was when I was at my lowest point and all he could say was, 'This pregnancy is really breaking you down, isn't it?' and for once he hit the nail right on the head.

I feel so guilty sometimes for wallowing in self pity and negative thoughts. After all, everyone keeps telling me to think positive cos whatever I feel can be sensed by da baby. Think of the baby, think of the baby. But sometimes I don't want to think of the baby. Thinking of the baby just brings me down cos along with that comes the memory and feelings of pain and distress that I had been subjected to. Is that too evil to admit out loud? That I feel stressed cos my body feels like it's failing me and I'm afraid of how much more it will fail me, especially when it comes down to the crunch? I'm very grateful that my pains don't come all at once but it doesn't help that it comes one after the other almost non stop either.

I guess that is perhaps the heart of the problem. The fact that I feel like my body has failed me which in turns breaks me down mentally therefore my mind fails me too during my darkest days. And that, unfortunately, takes away the joy and anticipation that this baby of mine is supposed to bring. I want to get out of this downward spiral but I'm not sure how. Especially with very little to distract me from the occasional gloom. I'm glad it comes less and less often now but I'm afraid of what it will turn me into if given the chance.