MSN Chat Newbie

I've been using Msn to chat and videochat with others for years and now that I live so far from family and friends, it has become even more essential as a tool to remain connected to those I love and miss. For me and most in my generation, chatting and webcams are just part and parcel of life and sometimes we tend to take it for granted.

That is far from reality for a lot in the generation of my parents which of cos includes my own wonderfully, technologically idiotic parents. It was only 2 years ago that my mum got her first mobile phone and it took her another year to learn how to make calls herself on it and she's still trying to remember to charge it when the battery runs low. To date, she has yet to learn how to send or even read smses and save phone numbers in her mobile. It is not from lack of trying from her 4 children. Each one of us have spent various amounts of time trying to get her to create an sms but with all the trouble we have getting her to actually read one, we think creating it is a case of hopeless intention.

My father is almost 20 years older than my mother and got his first mobile phone just a few months ago. He was very excited about that, even tho the man tries not to show it. But from the numerous calls he makes to my mother just because he can, we know he's excited, like a child with a new toy. And that was pretty much all he managed to learn to do until a few months later, he spills water all over his bedside table where the phone just happened to be and so that was the end of my father's journey into communication technology.

So far, I've chatted with my mother on Msn using the webcam only once before almost 2 years ago with help from my brother who set everything up and got her to just sit on the chair in front of the screen. Although my father did step in once in a while for a few seconds, the computer is like kryptonite to the poor man and he could never stay for more than a few seconds before running away.

Yesterday, my sis in law asked me to go online so that I could chat with my parents since they were visiting my 1st brother and his family in KL. So my dear sis in law set everything up for my parents and all they needed to do was sit in front of the screen and we could see each other but that was where the fun began.

My father didn't come to the screen at first and I managed to on ly chat with my mother but after a while she called him and coaxed him into sitting with her, using my nieces as bait. But he finally settled down and we all chatted pleasantly, my chat newbie parents and I, for a while. I know that with the big time difference, it was close to 9pm in KL while it was still the middle of the day for me and soon they would be going to bed.

Suddenly, my father starts getting curious about everything that he sees in front of him and starts asking my mother about everything. Now, this is truly a case of the blind leading the blind but my mother tried to answer as best she could and if my sis in law happened ot be in the room, she would answer him. And I get to watch all this unraveling in front of me like a movie which was truly fun.

My dear dad keeps turning to my mum saying, 'where am I? Can she see me? I don't see you (my mother), sit closer lah!' All this time I can see both of them clearly on my screen and if he knew where to look he would also see that they both appear within the chatbox.
My mother, not the most patient of people tries her best to maintain her cool telling him, 'She can see me, look at that box there. She can see us lah!'. To which my dad stares hard at the screen and then points, 'Oh! You mean that's what she sees? She sees everything there? So she can see me lah? (touching his face) Why are my eyebrows and forehead so white?'

Now note that I am still online and watching them and I can hear everything they say and yet my father still acts like I can't hear a thing. I am left wondering what he's looking at when I'm actually talking. He's still concerned about his white forehead cos he's a pretty dark skinned man and anything that appears white on his skin is a concerning anomaly. I want to tell him that it's white bcos the light from the screen is reflecting off his shiny bald forehead but I don't think he'll understand.

So we go on chatting for a while longer and suddenly the old man gets concerned about something else. I see him staring hard at his screen and he keeps pointing at it while trying to get my mother's attention who by this time is trying to ignore him.

Dad: (pointing at the screen) Why are our faces so dark? How come Dian looks so bright? Why is the screen so black?

I keep thinking that his MSN has hung or his video screen has blacked out which can happen if the network is overloaded but I'm a little skeptical cos I can still hear them clearly.

Me: What are you talking about? I can still see you. Can you hear me?

Dad: Yah I can hear you but why is our picture so dark? Your picture is so bright.

At this point my sister in law walks into the room and my dad asks her the same questions while pointing at the relevant things on his screen which I of cos cannot see. Then I hear her explanation and I wanna fall off my chair, it was so funny.

Sis in law: Her picture is bright bcos it's daytime there, ayah. Your faces are dark cos it's night time here. (switches on the table lamp) Here, maybe this is better.

Dad: (eyes open wide in amazement) Oooh! No wonder! Yah yah! This is much better. Thank you.

My sis in law leaves the room and goes into her livingroom and yet I can still hear her laugh heartily while telling my brother the incident. All I can do is shake my head at my adorable sotong of a father.

Explosion

You may have noticed that for the past 4 and a half months, I have not uplaoded any new pictures of myself. I'm not sure myself why but we have been taking pictures of the progress of the tummy growth through the weeks for archival purposes. Hee hee!

But now I have decided to finally present you the first pictures of me post-fertilisation (bwahaha..), and that is mostly because I just needed to show just how the tummy seemed to explode in size overnight! Usually my tummy grows strangely big overnight and that is due to a gassy tummy. It would go back to normal size in the night and when I wake up in the morning it wouldn't be so humongous. But now, it's gone 2 days and the tummy has NOT gone down in size.

It is just BIG BIG BIG! I'm going through a freak out moment right now cos all this while I had thought that my tummy is quite small for being almost 5 months along. Not that I was not pleased that my tummy was pretty small. As a matter of fact, I was VERY pleased that the tummy was relatively small and hide-able and the neighbours still have no idea we are expecting.

Here is me in an attempt to hide the tummy on 16th April 09 (19 wks along).
Quite successfully too, I think.

But now, there is NO way I can hide my pregnant tummy even when I have a jacket on and suddenly everything feels so real. There is a baby growing inside there!! And to top it all off, the baby has started kicking! I have felt something that I suspected were tiny kicks for a week or so now but it wasn't strong enough to be felt on the tummy. But this week, the baby has been kicking and kicking and finally dear husband can feel the tiny kicks I had felt which is a great thing cos he had been feeling a little left out by not being able to feel a single kick. It's wonderful to see his face light up when he has his hand on my tummy and he knows his baby is in there kicking away.

And the other night, we experienced the most compelling evidence that the baby is active and moving around in there while it still has the space to do it. I was lying in bed getting ready to sleep and I shifted position and apparently that prompted the baby to move as well and it felt like she did a wild somersault, didn't quite make it and ended up upside down, butt up and pushed hard against the right side of my tummy. And the funniest part of it was that it felt like she couldn't move and was stuck in that weird position. Both husband and I could actually see the right side of my tummy bulging weirdly out and it was hard and felt VERY uncomfortable.

All I could do was laugh in discomfort while telling husband dear to massage and shake my tummy so that we could hopefully move the little one back into a more normal position. And it worked!!! Massaging the tummy definitely helped to move baby back into a flatter position but how weirdly cool is that??! Hee hee!!

Comparison of how the tummy has EXPLODED into BIG!

Tummy at 19 weeks along (16th April 09)





See how it the tummy is JUST past boob level.

Tummy at 21 weeks (24th April 09)





Look at how SHARP the tummy has become and HUMONGOUS! This happened almost overnight! How fast can this baby grow! I'm freaking out cos this is not gradual and I don't feel like I have the time to get used to the size before it moves up in size again. Is it wrong for me to think that way?

More bad news...amidst the good

Been doing some reading up online about these pains I've been having in my right leg and I have more or less self diagnosed myself to have Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP), a condition that affects the back of the pelvis believed to be due to a less stable or 'unlocked' pelvis.

Our pelvis is a wonderful, very complicated and essential part of our body that is truly under appreciated. Until you experience pelvic pain or have mobility trouble (no, not having a car or driver's licence does NOT count which leads to my 2nd mobility problem but that's for another day). Another condition that I may have although not as severely is Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) which basically attacks the pubic area in the front of the pelvis. So basically I have pains in the front AND back of the pelvis.

Splendid.

Reading the symptoms that define PGP was like the author was writing about me. It was so spot on, it's freaky. Ok fine, granted this is not a rare illness but a relatively common condition that affects pregnant woman but hey, this is my first time producing a human being. I think I have the licence to be a little more drama queenish than usual. So the symptoms as taken from Babycentre.com (comments in yellow are what I have suffered):-

• Pain is often one sided and may be concentrated in the buttock area (Oooh yeah, right side to be exact)
• It may appear to jump from side to side or be accompanied by a general back pain or Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (uh huh..what did I say about this SPD?? Front AND back pains. There's no running away lah!)
• It can send shooting pains into your buttocks (heck yeah!) or down the back of your legs (right down to the back of the knee!)
• You may also have pain in your hips (right hip! Feels like someone hammering the right hip socket)
• One or both of your legs may feel weak (hence I have crutches now) and you may not be able to lift your legs, particularly when lying down. (hell, I can't even move them sometimes)
• The pain is usually made worse by lying on your back, turning over in bed, walking and standing from a sitting position (you don't say? So basically it's all normal human mobility functions? Sheesh, no wonder I couldn't move)
• It is often worse at night (and there I had thought it was having the husband at home) and the degree of night pain you may experience will probably be related to how active you are during the day (And there I thot I was just being lazy but it was actually self preservation)
• Separating your legs, especially when sitting in a slumped position or lying down can be painful (ooh...husband will NOT be pleased to hear that)

Although it is good to know what I have and to learn what I can do to relieve some of the pain, something I had hoped to learn from going to the doctor which of cos did NOT happen, reading the article further kinda crashed my spirits a little.

'If you experience PGP in one pregnancy, it is more likely to recur earlier in any subsequent pregnancy, and without professional advice or treatment, may be more severe.'

So not only will the likelihood of this torture return to plague me if I decide to have more children, it may return MORE severe if I don't get help? Just thinking of how it can be MORE severe than what I've experienced so far sends shivers up and down my spine and definitely makes me wonder if this baby will be an only child. Hmm...

And more bad news...

'PGP can linger after delivery and it is important that any treatment continues after pregnancy. Around 50% of women can still experience pain at 12 weeks after delivery although it is usually much less severe than during the pregnancy. It is more common to have pain that lasts for longer than 12 weeks if you have experienced PGP in a previous pregnancy.'

More common to have pain for LONGER than 12 weeks (which is essentially 3 mths!!) if I was to have a 2nd child??! Bad enough knowing I will have this pain (tho not as severe) for about 3 mths after birth but to know it not only will come back but will last longer for my next child and the next and the next??? What I can say for RIGHT NOW is that if we were to have a 2nd child, it will NOT be a planned one. Uh uh...nope..definitely not planned.

But apart from treating the pains that I face now DURING pregnancy, I am also worried and frankly freaked out by what I will face come labour. But one silver lining in this black cloud of pelvic pain is that it is SUPPOSEDLY rare for PGP to cause any problems during labour, with appropriate advice of cos. And if possible, I should consider delivery positions other than lying on my back. Ok, so it seems I have to be somewhat upright when pushing this melon of a baby out, either kneeling, standing (eee-oooh!) or any other gravity assisting position which it seems is more comfortable, if comfort is possible during the most painful period of a woman's life. Apparently, this is all due to my difficulties in separating my legs due to the PGP (a condition I OBVIOUSLY did not suffer from pre-pregnancy).

So what have I learnt so far other than this pain is not a figment of my imagination, overly exaggerated or to be taken lightly? Being in a lying or slumped position makes the pelvis more unstable therefore more painful while being in an upright position helps to 'lock' it into place thereby giving some relief to the tortured mother to be which is actually VERY good advice and something I may have taken FOREVER to figure out since my first reaction to pain is to lie down (my lazy genes in play again). Plus I should do minimal twisting actions (no doing the Twist then, sorry Chubby Checker) and no lifting or pushing which includes the supermarket carts (an extra chore dear husband has to take up in addition to everything else). Oh and best of all, I should try to march like a damn duck everywhere I go by arching my back and swinging my arms to lock my pelvis in a stable position and activate the muscles responsible for stiffening my pelvic joints.

Fine, stiff is good, soft is bad. Got it. And arch arch arch my back!

I wish I had never gone to see the doctor. It has left me even more dejected, frustrated and feeling even lonelier than before.

It's no secret that I do not fancy any medical staff that I have met so far in Sweden. The medical facilities, although a strange and new system to me, is just something that I will eventually get used. I have no big complaints about healthcare here, purely medically speaking, cos I do believe that they have good facilities available at very affordable costs so that nobody is excluded from medical care they need. But the people that I've encountered while being forced to go through this system leaves me with a really bad taste in my mouth.

Sometimes I wonder what is really the point of going to see the midwife or the obstetrician or the physiotherapist when I don't get the help or the support I need from them? Any of them.

My previous visits to the midwife, the obstretician and for my first ultrasound have done nothing to raise my spirits or excitement about my pregnancy. My own pregnancy has done nothing to raise my spirits or excitement about my pregnancy and baby. I've heard and read so much about how the 2nd trimester is supposed to be the most comfortable period in my entire pregnancy and I'm still waiting for that to happen.

The past few days, i've been hit with excruciating pain in my right hip, leg and butt. I've had these pains before in my 1st trimester but never for this long or this painful. And to make things worse, unlike in the 1st trimester, nothing me or husband do help to relieve the pain. We've tried massage, pain relief creams, hot n cold compresses, walking, standing, sitting and going on all fours, trying to do something else to distract me from the pain, drinking, eating, anything we could think of but nothing worked. The only thing that I noticed was that my worst pains come at night and I had the least pains in the mornings when I had managed to sleep. But as the day progresses, the pains slowly and steadily intensify. And this has been happening the past week or so and all it has done is leave me exhausted, in pain and desperate for help, any sort of help or advise or even a warm or encouraging word to help me get through this ordeal. It helps that husband is there for me but it still feels very lonely when all other voices express neither warmth, encouragement or real support... when and IF I get to hear those voices.

All weekend long, the husband had asked and asked me to let him take me to the hospital to get my leg checked but I refused. I didn't want to drive 45min to the hospital only to be met with indifference and a hospital bill for nothing. I knew it would make me feel even more frustrated in the head and empty in the wallet, so I said no. It was only out of pure desperation for help a few days later that I agreed to call the midwife who made an appointment with the local obstretician who apparently only comes in to see Askersund patients once a week. 'Luckily' for us, she comes on Tuesdays.

From the moment I stepped into her room, I could already sense the scrutiny behind her smiling face. She was watching me very closely to observe how I walked or moved. Having sat us down, the first thing she says was not 'I heard you've been having pains. Can you describe them to me?' which would have been a reasonable thing to ask.

Perhaps it is me and my hormonally hyped up emotions but I did not appreciate her approach of things at all. She turns to me and immediately asks, 'You have requested for an extra consultation. Can you tell me why?'

Suddenly I feel like I'm in the principal's office being interrogated. Why did she have to phrase it as if I had asked for something extra out of her? Just because I'm seeing her for the 2nd time during my pregnancy suddenly this is all extra? Talk about providing a service to your patient. And to think that I was not asked to explain my pains but to explain why I think I needed this EXTRA consultation. Like I said, maybe I'm just extra sensitive to the way people talk and approach me but I did not like how it was all starting at all.

And through the entire consultation ( I call it consultation cos all she did was sit BACK in her chair and listen to me talk.), she maintained the exact same smile and facial expression even when I was trying to tell her just how bad my pains had been. All this did was give me the impression that she did not take me seriously. I honestly think that she thot all I wanted were pills when what I wanted was not only medication but advice and support. If we did not ask the right questions, we would not get answers from her. It was never her asking questions to get to the bottom of things or giving suggestions of what to do. Am I wrong to think that doctors and nurses are there to help you and guide you as much as they can?

I got more and more upset thinking how bad my pains had been and how unhelpful the doctor was that I burst out crying in her office. Even then, her demeanour did not change much but she finally said she will prescribe some painkillers but to use SPARINGLY and only when needed. I know she's looking out for the baby but shouldn't she also take care of the mother?

UGH! I'm so frustrated! I am so close to just giving up, packing it in and moving back to Sg for the rest of the pregnancy but I also know that doing so will just open up a whole new can of worms for me.

Somebody Help!!! Hai...

The unending afflictions of a wretched mother to be

The past 4 and a half months have not been easy. Some days I can feel so sick and out of it that I start wondering if all this is worth it. Come September, I'll probably look back on this post and exclaim, 'Most definitely!'. But for right now, I just cannot enjoy being pregnant and I truly envy those women out there who experience little to no pregnancy pains and discomfort and are able to truly enjoy the amazing experience of a growing life inside you.

Although the nausea and dizzyness have subsided and my appetite has returned (although not fully normal according to husband), new and more painful symptoms pop up. I keep reading all these pregnancy books and magazines that tell me the 2nd trimester is the least uncomfortable and most enjoyable period in a woman's pregnancy. I'm still waiting!!

I've had bad pains earlier in my 1st trimester in my right leg that runs from the right butt cheek down to the back of my knee. We went to a physiotherapist but since it was so early in the pregnancy, there wasn't much they could do except give some suggestions on how to ease the pain a little. And to some extent, those tips worked. Even if it was for a little while, the pains would be at least somewhat alleviated. And those pains usually come out of nowhere causing a lot of pain but just as suddenly, it can disappear and feel as if nothing had happened.

But over the weekend, my pains have taken on a whole new level of monster. My right hip and back of leg is in such excruaciating pain that I can't sit, stand or lie down without wanting to tear my hair out. Even sitting on the toilet bowl is a nightmare, and just my luck that I now have a little mango pressing constantly on my bladder that I believe may just be the smallest one in the world. So Tubby and I meet up every hour if I'm lucky which also means that I need to move from lying in bed to sitting up to standing and actually having to walk the entire 5 metres from my bedroom to the toilet. Just the thought of it send shivers up my spine as every move not only takes an eternity to achieve but also shoots new tsunamis of pain all through my body.

Sheesh! The amount of effort and pain it takes to grow a baby! The production process was relatively easy and quite enjoyable, to put it mildly (heh heh...) but this whole gestation period is just not doing it for me. And I've still got 21 more weeks of this to go through!!

Sleeping, if I can get any now, helps to ease the pain so in a way I can count my blessings (I take them where I can) that the most severe pains happen at night when I've been awake and mobile for most of the day. Unfortunately that also means that husband dear can't sleep cos he tries so hard to ease my pain with massages (he's no professional but he's not Edward Scissorhands either) and cold and hot compresses (husband's idea of cold compress is pressing a bag of frozen minced beef on my back) or acting as my crutches as I make my arduous journey to the toilet and back.

Husband kept telling me to go to the hospital over the weekend to get it checked out but I promptly shot down his preposterous suggestion. Go to a hospital? On a weekend? In Sweden??? And I'm not bleeding profusely or blue in the face?

You must be out of your mind.

Rewind 2 years when I was still pampered in Singapore by the vast selection of private clinics albeit a tad costlier than a polyclinic and a culture of, if you're sick go see the doctor, I would have plonked myself into a waiting room of the nearest 24-hour clinic at the first sign of trouble.

I don't particularly like doctors, medications and definitely not shots and I'm quite sure I'm not a hypochondriac who runs to the doctor for the slightest headache or fever (unless I don't want to go to work and need an MC of cos). But living in Sweden and having encountered the medical staff and service that I have has really and truly put me off trying to get medical help unless I absolutely, unrefutedly need it. And that is up to subjective evaluation (ie. me and husband having a heated discussion about me being in pain).

It's not the waiting time to actually get an appointment to see a doctor that I dislike, it's not the fact that even if you're running a high fever, have chills and are coughing your lungs dry the nurse on the phone will still tell you to take a couple of panadols, rest and maybe she'll set your appointment in 2 days' time, or even that if you are lucky enough to live in a town that has a medical centre, it's open from 8am to 5pm on weekdays and unless you're bleeding or blue, you're highly discouraged from just dropping into the emergency room. No, I'm not put off by any of that, as a matter of fact, to some extent I can understand their policies. But what I just don't understand is the holier than thou attitude of most medical staff I've met. Just because the nurses and doctors went to school a few more years and took a more challenging line of career, they carry an attitude of I know better and why the hell are you here without an appointment wasting my time?

There's barely any friendliness or empathy in their attitudes, they view patients as healthy unless proven otherwise who are there to waste their precious time unless they actually suffer from a serious, diagnosed illness. And me being me, I don't want to make the 45min drive all the way to the hospital (bcos of cos the local medical centre will not even bother with me so that's not even an option), have to wait a few hours just to be briefly looked at by some bored, under stressed, under motivated doctor who thinks that I MAY be in pain but just how much pain is all in my head and who will tell me, take some panadol, rest and it'll pass. And I can't protest and demand to be taken more seriously cos they are polite and exude a thin veneer of niceness which is unfortunately accompanied by a big dollop of disinterest. I haven't really met any doctor or nurse in Sweden who sits me down and not just ask me what is wrong but also asks me questions that show they are interested to know what is happening to me to make me get into a car and drive 45min to find out what is wrong.

Unfortunately I don't have the same verbal repertoire in Swedish as I would have if I could explain things in English but even then, I would appreciate if someone would just take me seriously for once and not make me feel like whatever pains I have are just NORMAL and WILL PASS. Give me suggestions of what to do until then! Tell me what to avoid! Something!! Don't just tell me it's normal. It does not make me feel better, it makes me feel worse cos then I feel dismissed.

Can you tell just how disappointed and unimpressed I am by the medical care in Sweden? Certainly I cannot say for other doctors and nurses that may extend service of the highest quality and who make their patients feel at ease and informed. Maybe I've just been unlucky.

But one thing I know for sure. I salute my mother for the 4 children she gave life to and all other mothers in the world. You deserve to be on the highest pedestal and now I truly believe why we say the doorway to Heaven is on your mother's feet.

Sudden Obsessions

I've always been a big girl. The only times I remember ever being kinda thin was when I was playing sports like a maniac in JC and then when I was in Phuket when I didn't really enjoy the food I had to eat in Phuket which lasted about a year.

But I've never really been very obsessed with my weight even though my mum was constantly reminding me about it when I was growing up. I had lots of friends who accepted me for who I am and not how I looked like so I was contented.

And now that I'm all grown up, I'm very lucky to have been able to keep most of my beloved friends, found a husband who loves me regardless of the fact that I sometimes look and act like a monster witch and live in a country where I can find great looking clothes in my size, physically and economically speaking. But I have noticed a concerning new obsession (well, obsession might be too strong a word) ever since I found out I was pregnant.

First and foremost, I have to admit that for 4.5 months, my tummy still looks pretty unpregnant and I can hide it quite well if I wanted to. The only reason why one of my ancient neighbours and the pizza guy downstairs know about the baby is cos husband dear wants the neighbour's flat and hopes she will sell it to us one day and he got really excited one night when buying pizza and blurted it out. Until about 3 weeks ago, I had gained about half a kilo within a span of 3mths which I have to say made me really happy.

I read a lot of pregnancy articles and forums online nowadays and there are a lot of stories out there of women who gain a lot of weight in their 1st trimester and then have to watch what they eat for the rest of the pregnancy. Some of these women gained about 5kg or so within just the first trimester and that really freaked me out. I mean, I start out heavy and to gain an extra 5kg within 3 or 4 mths during a time when doctors and midwives say weight gain should be minimal if any. Yikes!

I don't want to end up being a Big Mama come September cos everyone knows baby weight is SUPER hard to lose and knowing me and my scant relationship with exercise, it may be mission impossible! So suddenly I'm obsessed about my weight now. The scales at home don't work so I usually weigh myself everytime we go see M's grandparents. It's almost a habit now that the first thing I do after greeting them at the door is that I go straight into their bathroom to weigh myself. So of cos I weighed myself in their bathroom last night after 3 weeks of not having weighed myself (and of cos indulging and feasting in the fact that my appetite is back) and lo and behold I find that I have gained 1.5kg in those 3 weeks.

WHAT??! How in da heck did I manage to do that??!, I almost screamed out loud.

This is the first time in my life my weight has shot up in that short a period and I am sweating bullets wondering about what is to come, scale wise, in the following few weeks in which the baby is supposed to go through a growth spurt. I already feel like a balloon being blown up but now I feel like a balloon being pumped by an electrical pump!

I know I know, my weight gain should not be at the forefront of my concerns right now. I should just concentrate on eating right and ensuring good health and not worry so much about the weight gain. But which woman in her right mind would not freak out like crazy the first time she sees the scales show crazy numbers to her? My worry and mild obsession right now is not so much on the fact that I'm gaining weight cos that's just natural but the kilos I'm gonna pack on.

But one thing I am glad for is that I DID NOT gain much weight at all in my first trimester so at least I've stopped with the sweating bullets. Plus the fact that I haven't really realised until now just how little sweets and goodies I eat. The husband is the goodies monster in the house and the only reason why we have any sweets and chocolates at all in the house is bcos he likes them. And since the pregnancy, I've stopped eating ice-cream altogether. I don't know why but I just no longer have the desire to eat ice-cream. The last time I ate it was my favourite Cornetto ice-cream about a month ago but after 3 bites, I gave the rest to husband dearest cos I just didn't want the rest. How strange is that? Potato chips I still like but since I like JacknJill potato chips and Lays, 2 brands that I can't find here, I don't really eat chips either.

So through my obsession about weight right now, I take solace in the fact that I don't eat much goodies. But that of cos does not mean that I eat super healthy. Salad is still at the bottom of my list of things to eat and things like burgers stand up there among the top 5. So many changes and so many things to consider when one becomes pregnant but like the husband always says to me, just eat what you want and don't worry so much.

Even he thinks I'm a big worry wart. Hai...