Sudden Obsessions

I've always been a big girl. The only times I remember ever being kinda thin was when I was playing sports like a maniac in JC and then when I was in Phuket when I didn't really enjoy the food I had to eat in Phuket which lasted about a year.

But I've never really been very obsessed with my weight even though my mum was constantly reminding me about it when I was growing up. I had lots of friends who accepted me for who I am and not how I looked like so I was contented.

And now that I'm all grown up, I'm very lucky to have been able to keep most of my beloved friends, found a husband who loves me regardless of the fact that I sometimes look and act like a monster witch and live in a country where I can find great looking clothes in my size, physically and economically speaking. But I have noticed a concerning new obsession (well, obsession might be too strong a word) ever since I found out I was pregnant.

First and foremost, I have to admit that for 4.5 months, my tummy still looks pretty unpregnant and I can hide it quite well if I wanted to. The only reason why one of my ancient neighbours and the pizza guy downstairs know about the baby is cos husband dear wants the neighbour's flat and hopes she will sell it to us one day and he got really excited one night when buying pizza and blurted it out. Until about 3 weeks ago, I had gained about half a kilo within a span of 3mths which I have to say made me really happy.

I read a lot of pregnancy articles and forums online nowadays and there are a lot of stories out there of women who gain a lot of weight in their 1st trimester and then have to watch what they eat for the rest of the pregnancy. Some of these women gained about 5kg or so within just the first trimester and that really freaked me out. I mean, I start out heavy and to gain an extra 5kg within 3 or 4 mths during a time when doctors and midwives say weight gain should be minimal if any. Yikes!

I don't want to end up being a Big Mama come September cos everyone knows baby weight is SUPER hard to lose and knowing me and my scant relationship with exercise, it may be mission impossible! So suddenly I'm obsessed about my weight now. The scales at home don't work so I usually weigh myself everytime we go see M's grandparents. It's almost a habit now that the first thing I do after greeting them at the door is that I go straight into their bathroom to weigh myself. So of cos I weighed myself in their bathroom last night after 3 weeks of not having weighed myself (and of cos indulging and feasting in the fact that my appetite is back) and lo and behold I find that I have gained 1.5kg in those 3 weeks.

WHAT??! How in da heck did I manage to do that??!, I almost screamed out loud.

This is the first time in my life my weight has shot up in that short a period and I am sweating bullets wondering about what is to come, scale wise, in the following few weeks in which the baby is supposed to go through a growth spurt. I already feel like a balloon being blown up but now I feel like a balloon being pumped by an electrical pump!

I know I know, my weight gain should not be at the forefront of my concerns right now. I should just concentrate on eating right and ensuring good health and not worry so much about the weight gain. But which woman in her right mind would not freak out like crazy the first time she sees the scales show crazy numbers to her? My worry and mild obsession right now is not so much on the fact that I'm gaining weight cos that's just natural but the kilos I'm gonna pack on.

But one thing I am glad for is that I DID NOT gain much weight at all in my first trimester so at least I've stopped with the sweating bullets. Plus the fact that I haven't really realised until now just how little sweets and goodies I eat. The husband is the goodies monster in the house and the only reason why we have any sweets and chocolates at all in the house is bcos he likes them. And since the pregnancy, I've stopped eating ice-cream altogether. I don't know why but I just no longer have the desire to eat ice-cream. The last time I ate it was my favourite Cornetto ice-cream about a month ago but after 3 bites, I gave the rest to husband dearest cos I just didn't want the rest. How strange is that? Potato chips I still like but since I like JacknJill potato chips and Lays, 2 brands that I can't find here, I don't really eat chips either.

So through my obsession about weight right now, I take solace in the fact that I don't eat much goodies. But that of cos does not mean that I eat super healthy. Salad is still at the bottom of my list of things to eat and things like burgers stand up there among the top 5. So many changes and so many things to consider when one becomes pregnant but like the husband always says to me, just eat what you want and don't worry so much.

Even he thinks I'm a big worry wart. Hai...