Anxiously waiting..

Baby is due next Sunday. I can't believe I no longer have to use number of day or weeks or months to refer to my due date anymore. Of course it's up to the baby when it wants to come but to us the date 6th September is like a holy date full of excitement, anticipation and fear.

What an anti-climax it would be if the baby decided to come much later rather than sooner. haha!

I've begun wondering sometimes what the baby will look like and looking at other mixed race babies (usually Thai- Swedish) and wondering if my baby will look like that. I've seen 2 young mixed children that have fairly dark skin with blond hair and I wonder if my baby would turn out like that. To be honest, I would much prefer my child to have fair skin than blond hair. It just looks so strange when someone has such dark, island people like skin (like those rangers I met on a nature reserve island in Thailand), sporting blond hair. Granted the blond is not super light but streaked with brown but it still looks so strange and unnatural.

One also wonders about the temperament of the baby. Will it be a quiet, content baby that is easy to take care of or one that is fussy and crying all the time for the smallest thing? My mum said that I was an easy child to take care of, a great travel baby (I sound like an accessory) and basically slept and ate my way through early infanthood. Husband dear, on the other hand, was a little rougher on his mum. He was a cry baby who would awaken at the slightest noise (he still does that) and feeding time was a chore. Hmmm...I wonder who our baby will follow.

It's getting more and more difficult walking around and sometimes I get hit by painful cramps, regardless of where I am or what I am doing. I dread going to bed at night or even taking naps or anything that involves me lying in bed cos it hurts to shift positions in bed or even getting out of bed and there are nights when I simply cannot move my legs cos it hurts so much. Thank goodness for my dear husband who literally has to move my legs for me and pull me out of bed or into a new position. I truly admire and feel sorry for those pregnant women out there who have to do this alone. I can't wait for this pregnancy to be over and hopefully for the pains to go away sooner rather than later.

What if my pains don't go away even after the birth?? What if it takes FOREVER for me to feel better? That is something that I dare not think about. I don't even dare to think too much about the labour and birth. All I know is I am going to try my hardest to keep an open mind, be receptive to suggestions and advice and be willing to try almost anything to get through it.

I'm quite glad to have my parents around right now, to be in the company of others during the day and to be taken care of and given advice on what to do or what to expect before, during and after the birth.

It's such a crappy, rainy day today and it is the day of the annual Autum market in Askersund. I feel sorry for the people who are selling their wares in the pissy weather today. I will certainly go down there to walk around and have a look, maybe buy a few things I don't need but it would have been so much more pleasant with at least some sun or at least no rain.

Weather sucks today.